Old Fascinations We Crave

In exactly five days I will be reaching the 2 month mark, the encroaching benchmark where we are supposed to make the switch from "getting to know your community" to "working with your community." It's terrifying. Now, I can't simply walk around aka work on my tan and drink coffee and peoples' homes. It is official, now comes the telling legacy of our PC years. But how does one really start? When you hear about such amazing projects going on, you do start to feel inferior about your own service. One volunteer is planning a country-wide girl's leadership and selfconfidence camp. Another volunteer is developing a city wide trash service, something that exists in very few Honduran towns (usually they simply throw their trash in the streets or burn it since trash dumps don't exist).

What do I have to show? I've developed a knack for creating business casual outfits that don't match at all. I'm no longer afraid of my family's large bull (featured below). A handfull of kids know my name. But often times when I reflect those are the only things I think I have accomplished. And now I am expected to be a real real person. Not just a real person. I have a responsibility to my community, to my project directors, to the kind taxpayers of the USA who give me my monthly allowance (thank you!), and to myself. And it couldn't come at a harder time. By the end of this month, the entire country of Honduras will dedicate 14 hrs of everyday to the coffee harvest. Whether they own coffee fincas of their own or are coffee cutters on other fincas, virtually every community vacates during the day. And frankly, it's tough to do community projects without community members. Also, they still speak spanish here, dontcha know. Ugh can't I just be fluent already?

But when I take a step back, and stop being so hypercritical, I guess I have accomplished some things already and am ready to dive into projects of my own. In a week and a half, I will start my environmental club with the youth of the community. In my opinion the easiest group to convince of the importance of preserving our environment, the youth are so excited to get extra time to hang out with the local gringo and do some hands on activities, something that is difficult to incorporate into their current school cirriculum. I have been helping some families with their family's gardens and have attracted interest from the community to start lessons on organic fertilizers and pesticides and nutrition. And I could potentially address the community's basic need of healthy water by installing letrines in those homes that do not have a bathroom or it is in bad condition.

Just keep your head above water, Justino. And it's all just starting. Soon, I will have the freedom to visit my fellow PCVs at my own discretion and gain ideas and inspiration from them. Once projects get off the ground in my community, I will gain limitless confidence with my new friends and hopefully lead to much more integration and work. Just keep busy is our mottos to sanity. In the trying time of the first initial months, sometimes I just need to tell myself you are doing your job right. well. be proud. Who knows where a certain conversation, certain day, or certain cup of coffee will take you. And hey, if all else fails, I can always go play soccer with some kids. I know I can't play, they know I can't play, yet somehow no one really cares because we both know I have the time in the world (at least the next two years of the world).